Jealousy

She was a hurricane of colors and sunshine
and I was just a puddle of grey and mud.

She has eyes like the bark of an old tree that aged through time
and… my eyes? My eyes were just brown.

She has a bright smile that makes your heart skip.
I have a broken grin and a heart that you skipped over.

She has a voice like she was the sound of a violin melody personified
and I have a voice like an amateur violinist’s broken recording.

I envy her. She stole your heart unknowingly, and she didn’t even bother to know its worth. If only she knew that I have been working blood, sweat and tears for it for months. If only she knew I was willing to pay so much more.

Your heart was hers inevitably, despite the fact that she’s going to store it in her trophy shelf, to become a room for insects and spiders.
And the room I built, painted, and decorated in my heart for your comfort? It will be filled from head to toe with dust.

I guess that’s life – our growth is spurred by sorrow, by pain. We learn with every bruise.
So if anything, I will try to stuff that room I built for you, with gratitude.
Maybe. Once I can step over the carcasses of my wild soul without breaking down into pieces.

Can you blame me by Nicole Garcia

Can you blame me if I cannot get over

Something so small as an end

If it was done to me, I cannot be bitter

If it meant being done by a friend.

 

You can blame me, say, if I cannot get over

If it’s someone I do not care about

Be it done to me, to a drunk, to a lover

I will not mind if things go south

 

Whispering words, listening to their happiness.

Their cheers echo in the loneliness of my soul.

My pen writes down things to distract me,

So long as I, will not recognize, we are no more

Because the pain is as soundless as my lips

This pair of flesh that once lingered on yours

My heart helplessly beats faster when you’re gone

My throat, it scratches, my voice is hoarse. 

 

Can you blame me?