I will deactivate my Facebook account, mainly because it’s been terrible for my mental health.
I’ve been depressed and suicidal for almost 7 years now. There was a time when I was able to use Facebook to reach out to my friends, especially those I’ve made from other parts of the world. And I was always online, showing them that they can chat me up anytime to talk about anything.
Years have passed since then, and I’ve noticed a huge shift in the way we Facebook now.
A lot of people are online all the time. Sometimes, when I’m about to crash, I look through the list, asking myself who I can talk to for help. Knowing that I can’t ask any one of them for help makes me spiral even further. It’s like feeling left out and alone in a very crowded place. People will always say, “I’ll be there for you” but most of the time they say it out of respect and don’t even mean it, kind of like the way people say “see you later” or “hang out with you soon”.
Most of the things I see in my timeline is just… noise. One moment you’re watching a very inspiring video about people trying to make a difference, and the next, there’s news of people dying on the other side of the world. Then suddenly there’s a cat video, and then memes, and then cancer comments, and then a cancer story.
I feel that Facebook is continually honing our sense of apathy. It doesn’t give you time to appreciate what you’re watching, or reading, or listening to. It’s one post after the next. And we share and re-share and it becomes this cycle of having 5-second pity for this and 5-second kilig over that.
And it’s like that, day by day. And it’s killing me. Even with all the Mental Health advocates out there, all we ever do is spread awareness in the form of videos and infographs – nothing more. Because no one is brave enough to actually become someone’s daily emotional support. Especially not when it’s a stranger.
Social media used to be a powerful platform for spreading information. But we’re past that now, and corporate companies have realized how it could be a powerful tool to forward their own agenda. And we’ve been nothing but mindless consumers, slowly being brainwashed to eat up every ‘truth’ that comes in our timeline.
I’m tired of being in that cycle. Some would say that I’m simply doing this to turn my head away from all the social issues because I ‘can’t handle it’. I am not running away from the discourse; rather, I am walking away from the platform that only encourages online discourse, and nothing more.
People need our help, not our opinions. And I will try as much as I can to do just that.