It is what you utter breathlessly in between laughs as he tickles your insides.
It is what you mouth soundlessly as he closes the door behind him.
It is what you scream loudly as you watched him get shot.
It is what you whisper tiredly as regret wraps its arms around you.
It is what you shout defiantly at depression as it tries to drown you during your sleep.
It is helplessness. It is denial. It is painful to say, and all the more painful to hear.
But it is also what you say as you notice the new guy checking you out.
It is what you mutter as you realize he’s falling for you.
“Don’t. Don’t. Don’t.”